Crisp Reviews — Brutally Honest 🥔
No sponsorships. No free samples. Just honest opinions about crisps.
The Great Crisp Ranking
Tier 1: The Best Crisps Money Can Buy
Tyrrell's Hand Cooked
Thick-cut, kettle-cooked, genuinely tasty. The Mature Cheddar & Chive flavour is the best crisp available in the UK. Full stop. The Sea Salt & Cider Vinegar is a close second. They're pricier, but they taste like actual potatoes rather than flavoured cardboard.
Rating: 9/10
Kettle Chips
The original thick-cut crisp. Lightly Salted is perfect in its simplicity. The Sea Salt & Balsamic Vinegar is outstanding. Ridge Cut adds structural integrity for dipping. Consistent quality, wide availability.
Rating: 8.5/10
Tier 2: Excellent Everyday Crisps
Walker's
The default British crisp. The one in every meal deal, every pub, every petrol station. Cheese & Onion and Salt & Vinegar are national institutions. Are they the best crisps? No. Are they comfortingly reliable? Yes. Always.
Special mention: Walker's Max Strong range — Jalapeño & Cheese is genuinely excellent, with real heat.
Rating: 7/10 (standard) / 8/10 (Max Strong)
Pipers
The indie darling. Atlas Mountains Wild Thyme & Rosemary is unlike anything else. Premium without being pretentious. Hard to find outside M&S and farm shops, which is both their charm and their limitation.
Rating: 8/10
Tier 3: Solid Options
Pringles
Technically not crisps (they're reconstituted potato). But we're including them because everyone eats them. Sour Cream & Onion tastes nothing like sour cream or onion but is somehow perfect. The tube is an engineering marvel.
Controversial opinion: Original flavour Pringles are bland. Fight us.
Rating: 6.5/10
McCoy's
Ridge cut, thick, aggressively flavoured. The Thai Sweet Chicken is excellent. They market themselves as "man crisps" which is cringe, but the product is genuinely chunkier and more satisfying than most.
Rating: 7/10
Tier 4: Acceptable in a Pinch
Supermarket Own Brand
Tesco Finest Sea Salt & Chardonnay Vinegar: legitimately good (8/10).
Aldi Specially Selected: surprising quality (7.5/10).
Standard own-brand ready salted: functional. Like eating flavoured air. (5/10).
Hula Hoops
Not technically crisps. Fun texture. BBQ Beef flavour is the best one. Mostly eaten by putting them on your fingers first.
Rating: 6/10
Tier 5: No Thank You
Monster Munch — Pickled Onion Monster Munch is divisive. You either love the artificial vinegar burn or you find it physically unpleasant. There is no middle ground.
Rating: 5/10 (controversial)
Quavers — Melty, floaty, insubstantial. Like eating savoury clouds. Some people love them. We respect those people but don't understand them.
Rating: 5/10
Flavour Rankings
Salt & Vinegar (Across Brands)
- Kettle Sea Salt & Balsamic Vinegar
- Tyrrell's Sea Salt & Cider Vinegar
- Walker's Salt & Vinegar
- Pringles Salt & Vinegar
- McCoy's Salt & Vinegar
Cheese & Onion (Across Brands)
- Tyrrell's Mature Cheddar & Chive
- Walker's Cheese & Onion
- McCoy's Cheddar & Onion
- Pringles Sour Cream & Onion
- Kettle Mature Cheddar & Red Onion
Ready Salted (Across Brands)
- Kettle Lightly Salted
- Tyrrell's Lightly Sea Salted
- Walker's Ready Salted
- Tesco Finest Sea Salt
- Pringles Original
The Crisp Sandwich
A brief note on the crisp sandwich (crisp butty, piece & crisps):
Best crisps for sandwiches:
- Walker's Cheese & Onion in white bread with butter — the undisputed king
- Salt & Vinegar in a ham sandwich — the acid cuts through the meat
- Ready Salted in literally any sandwich — flavour-neutral enhancement
The crisp sandwich is a legitimate meal. We will not be taking questions.
Reviews represent the genuine opinions of the Chip Foods tasting panel. No crisps were harmed. Some were deeply criticised. 🥔